Fluidr
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User / Shadow Viking / Sets / Windfall
alice / SV / 21 items

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Inspired a lot by Dano's awesome "Traveling Dwarf" MOC, but also made to show off the tree (it's been sitting around for ages ;_;)

Oh also the fig is Dano's version of my castle sigfig... it looked better than mine so I used it. Thanks buddy :D

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Windfall
It had been a good day. Well, the irate merchant hadn't really been a high point, but even that got him a new sword, and all's well that ends well. And besides that, everything had gone just as planned or better. He- Sven Anderson, a Norse warrior in England for adventure- had found the Hammer Amulet quickly, scared away the guardians without even having to fight, and been left alone the way back to Bryon's hut. Now he'd even found an apple tree that wasn't on anybody's property.

After filling his haversack with the crisp green apples, he picked another and bit into it. In He'd never even heard of apples until he went on his first raid, but the first time he'd tasted one had been a few weeks ago when he bought one at a market vendor. He'd fallen in love with the taste instantly and kept his eyes peeled for more wherever he went.

As he walked along the path, still eating, he wondered what to do next. Most people tended to avoid him, fearing him as a stereotypical berserker northman, so getting jobs wasn't exactly common. He had bought a map from a vendor, Gahdösi, before moving on to the sword merchant, but hadn't had a chance to look at it.
"Well," he muttered to himself in Norse, "It'll have to wait until I finish this apple. This must be what the nectar of Valhöll tastes like."

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Tags:   foitsop windfall traveller sven anderson sigfig viking vikings norseman england apples apple tree apple tree flowers pink grass path road dirt mud LEGO BURN THE ZWORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What zword? That, my friend, is the Snaketooth Longsword castle medieval fantasy story Anglo-Saxon Norse Celt Briton Roman English Norman parody satire DnD Dungeons and Dragons Icewind Dale Baldur's Gate The Bard's Tale the Bard

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Sven had just polished off his apple when he heard drunken music in the distance. Continuing along the road, he soon came to a bard sitting against a stump, strumming clumsily at a lute and singing Villeman Og Magnhild at the top of his lungs.


Intrigued by the Norwegian song, Sven strode over to the sloshed singer. "Góðan daginn, skaald!" He hailed in his native tongue, "Do you too come from the northlands?"

"Eh? Nah, shust know sumuvda langijj... langwuj... language! Now bahk off or I, my dog'll attack! Shic 'im boy!"

Sven looked around for a dog. His search was unsuccessful.

"Uh..." speaking in English now, "There is no hound here."
"What? It'shoo! I'm shorry Shilkbeard... wait, you're not Shilkbeard. He'sh dead. Killed 'im. What d'you do wiff my dog?!"
Looking up at the sky, the bard shouted angrily as if at an unseen watcher. "I gottim bahk! In da... tombsh of Macgraff! Bloody narrartor, you 'aven't told that partchyet, 'ave you?!"

Sven was taken aback. Clearly the bard was not only drunk but also somewhat insane. "Ah... I... must take my leave, good skaald. Fare ye-"
"Wait!" The bard cried out. "I'm outta ale... gotshany for me?"
"Can't say that I do. Perhaps you should be looking for something more wholesome, like water..."
"Wholeshome?! Thish ish... wash... a Shtromness Shtout! From the northlandsh, like shyou!"

Sven nodded politely and began inching backwards. The bard tutted and began playing again, and the alarmed norseman turned around and walked quickly away.

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Tags:   LEGO foitsop bard the bard the bard's tale tale lute viking norseman sven anderson windfall tree stump flowers grass obscure references the ps2 Bard's Tale may not have been the classic the original PC game was, but it's still great fun thus, gratuitious references to it when talking about bards is mandatory does anyone even read tags? I wish I could find the PS2 version of Bard's Tale. ;___; be warned that it's a sequel to the PC game in name only. As for finding it... dunno, sorry :( If you have a gamestop near you they probably have it used for cheap. castle fantasy medieval story spoony bard Anglo-Saxon Norse Celt Briton Roman English Norman parody satire DnD Dungeons and Dragons Icewind Dale Baldur's Gate

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However, he had only gone a short way when the singing abruptly stopped and the sound of unbalanced footsteps took it's place."Ey! I'm... can I tag around? Jusht me an' my dog... oh, right. Won't any noise making, promish. Exshept shingin'."
Sven sighed and continued walking. The bard hiccuped and continued following.
"Come on, I'm jusht a weary bard... jusht tag along until I get to Dounby?"
"Dounby?" Sven snorted. "I am not going to Dounby, I don't even know where that is."
"Did I shay Dounby?... meant Shandford."
Sven was fed up. It had been a good day until this blasted bard had appeared. "I will not be in Sandford for three hours yet, and I do not want your drunken presence for such a time."

The bard halted for a moment, then strode back up to Sven and dropped his voice to a hoarse whisper that was menacing even through his drunken slurring. "In this world, ther're two kindsh of people I've met... those that've helped me, and those that I've killed. Which will you be?"
Sven was not in the mood for a fight, so he nodded. "You can travel with me, but on one condition."
The bard grinned. "An' whatsh that?"

The bard woke up a couple of hours later with a splitting headache and a bitter mood. Hungover as he was he had not forgotten a thing. Talking down from his slump on Sven's shoulder, he spoke angrily. "You hit me!"
"Ja." said Sven, letting the bard down. "As I spoke before, I do not want a drunkard for a companion."
"But you hit me!"
"And now you're not drunk."
"You hit me!"
"You wish to sleep longer?" Sven hissed back. The bard quieted.

It was another hour yet until they came to the outskirts of Sandford, and another hour to that before the bard spoke.
"You hit me!"
"Drop it!" Sven rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Not you, her!"
"What?" Sven looked around wildly for "her". She turned out to be a peasant woman hacking at wheat stalks just as wildly.
She yelled back furiously. "Her?! Her?! That's all you'll call me is her?! Bard you son of a leper, I should have expected you to forget my name but her?!"
Sven cradled his face in his palm. This mendicant minstrel seemed to attract trouble...
The bard looked uneasy. "Yeah, well, you hit me..."
The woman looked unbalanced. "After you left me after you promised to marry me!"
"Well, I was a bit drunk at the time..."
"When aren't you?!"
"Oh, that's a surprise." Sven cut in quickly. "Goodbye, uh, I hesitate to call you fri-"
"You're not going anywhere..." the woman turned on the northman now. "You brought this plague back to me, it's only fitting that you catch it as well!" She punctuated every other word with a swing of the scythe. Sven was quite alarmed at this point and raised his shield slightly.
"Look lady," the bard spoke again, "If I don't remember your name, it means I don't care. And if I don't care, it means I... don't care. Which means I'd have been a terrible husband anyway. I'm sure you wouldn't have liked that."
"It's the principle!" She shouted and embedded the scythe in the grass with an overzealous swing, "Of the matter!" She yanked the scythe out and glared at the bard, who attempted again to reason with her.
"Look, I-"
At this point, the peasant decided that this was quite enough of that and charged and the bard, her scythe humming through the air.
The bard felt too that this was quite enough of that and drew his shield to block.
Finally, Sven also felt that this was quite enough of that and resumed his walk toward Sandford.

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Tags:   LEGO foitsop wheat field scythe sven anderson bard the bard grass path dirt flowers facepalm lute old flame windfall castle medieval fantasy viking norseman More references to the 2004 Bard's Tale video game story RBG invisible: #c4d4f5 Anglo-Saxon Norse Celt Briton Roman English Norman parody satire DnD Dungeons and Dragons Icewind Dale Baldur's Gate The Bard's Tale

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Dano and Ray’lel had been having an even better day. They’d made it through two cities without being recognised or hassled and they’d gotten a number of useful items, some of them legally.

The useful items included a map, bought from a surprisingly honest Gahdoesi merchant (At least, honest to their knowledge. The map had been correct so far, but with Gahdoesi, you never knew).
Ray'lel waved the map as she spoke. "So, are we not following this anymore? Because we're going the wrong way..."
"We'll follow it,." said Dano, "But first we're going through Sandford to pick up some provisions. I want to stay out of the big cities; we've been lucky so far but I don't want to push it."
"Fair enough."

They arrived at the Sandford market at midday. The streets were inexplicably empty, and there was a doleful silence hanging over the stalls.
They walked hesitantly, past a leatherworker reassuring his son.
"What's going on here?" whispered Ray'lel tentatively.
"No idea... small towns like these aren't usually this quiet... or this armed." Dano replied, eying a knight in full plate talking to a sad looking man in an ill fitting mail coat. "That's Sir Dennet there, but I don't know who he's speaking to... looks like some sort of militia. Maybe the town's been attacked recently?"
Ray'lel shrugged, and they continued on to the food stall in silence. Dano started haggling with the merchant.
"Three waycakes for ten crowns? These shouldn't go for any more than sevenpence."
"Well I won't give them to you for any less than nine."
"Eight."
"Eight and a half."
"I won't half anything... here's nine, and be happy with it."
The merchant grinned and took the money, then turned around to grab the waycakes. Ray'lel quickly stooped and grabbed a handful of fallen apples. The merchant turned back.
"Here's your bread. Have a fine day, sir." he cackled.
"You as well." spoke Dano, then whispered to Ray'lel as they walked away: "I will never understand how you can do that so quickly."
Ray'lel just grinned and pulled an apple from her pack.

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Tags:   LEGO windfall sandford Dano Dano is the Mano Ray'lel merchants stalls weapons leather Sir Dennet levy spearmen apples BTW, the reason this photo sucks is because it was taken at 9:30 in a bathroom with two desk lamps I just noticed Ray'lel's bow is crooked... ;_; lol Anglo-Saxon Norse Viking Celt Briton Roman English Norman parody satire DnD Dungeons and Dragons Icewind Dale Baldur's Gate The Bard's Tale the Bard

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Before long, Dano and Ray'lel came upon another trade road, rutted with the passage of many carts. One such cart trundled along the road, and they stepped to the grass at the side.

Ever curious, Ray'lel looked up at the vehicle. A coffin rested in it, and a somber priest with a cross stood by that.
"Dano! Look." she said, tapping his shoulder.
Dano turned to look. "What? It's just..."
The coffin was chained and locked.
"I fear I may know what befalls this village." he said morosely.

Turning back, he called out to a militiamen who had just stepped off the road. "You there."
"Yes? You're here to help us, I suppose? As if we didn't have enough trouble without you mercenaries taking money for your aid." The man's voice was bitter- and rather scared.
"I would gladly aid you for no more than a night's shelter and some provisions. But I know not how- what harms this village?"
"You don't know? Someone yet who doesn't know the curse of Sandford?"
Dano looked grim as he replied. "Curse? Then is it as I feared? Hath the dead risen?"
"In short, yes. I have not the time to explain it. If you wish to lend your aid, go see our knight Dennet in Town Hall, he's gathering a number of warriors to help us."
"Thank you. We will do what we can."
The soldier nodded, and turned to walk across the now empty street.

The cart was nearly out of sight, but Ray'lel could not take her eyes from the coffin until the dust kicked up from the wheels obscured it.

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Tags:   windfall Sven Anderson Ray'lel Dano Dano is the Mano coffin chained undead priest undead priest?! No. Whay am I talking to myself? horse cart road Sandford did I mention Windfall? Brendan Fraser Richard O'Connel Marcus Carter Brutus Anglo-Saxon Norse Viking Celt Briton Roman English Norman parody satire DnD Dungeons and Dragons Icewind Dale Baldur's Gate The Bard's Tale the Bard


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