Today could be a different day
if the sky lifts up the haze
off of my front lawn
or just another time i hold my tears
for another year
on my way back home.

-The Starting Line

It's better here.

I've been in Oklahoma for over a year. I really truly hate it here. It's a complete 180 compared to the East Coast.

Oklahoma city? What a lie. It's not a city. You want to see a city? Go to DC, Baltimore, Philly. Those are cities. This is a fucking fraud.

The people here are SO narrow minded. They're all judgmental bible thumpers and I'm tired of it. I'm sick of dirty looks, of people not respecting my opinions, I'm tired of people telling me that I'm wrong! The whole state is just completely backwards. I want to go home. I miss the ocean. I'm suffocating.

*// I don't know why but everytime I post something like this where I've used Photoshop brushes, just tools outside of editing contrast/colour and adding a border, I feel like I'm cheating. Because Photoshop seems to be such a dirty word amongst photographers. I know alot of people think that Photoshop is an easy way to make a boring photo interesting and I don't want people to think of my photos that way.


March 2008 Monthly Scavenger Hunt Solitary

Tags:   shadow selfportrait photoshop photomanipulation outside outdoors nature jeans home grey gray dead anxiety angry 365days 365 hoodie tree trees branch branches sticks thestartingline msh0308 msh0308-13 2-21-08

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Do you ever feel like giving up?

-The Ataris

Bad day.

Tags:   cry crying tears wet eyelashes eyeball sad depressed pain ache hurt the ataris bad day 365 365days self portrait 3-9-08

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Do you remember all the things we did?
And what it's like to be a kid.
Being young and skipping school,
I guess we must have broken every rule!

I never thought those times would last forever,
But now that they're gone
I'm pretty sure we grew up too fast.

-The Ataris

Does anyone else remember jelly shoes? Between the ages of like 5 and 9 I went through like 5 pairs every summer. I got these at Target last year for like $2. They have glitter in them.

I think I waste too much time thinking about the past and how great things used to be. I feel like I'm missing out on the NOW because all I ever seem to do is sit and space out and think about all the amazing times I had with my friends when I was in highschool.

I don't understand why I'm so reluctant to 'grow up.' It's weird. When you're a kid all you want to do is be an adult. And now that I'm an 'adult' I just want to be a kid again.

I hate calling myself an adult. I don't know what to call myself anymore. I'm not a kid, or a teenager. But I'm definitely not an adult. I'm this weird in between combination of all of them.

Tags:   365 365days green pink jellies jelly jelly shoes feet grass the ataris nostalgia self portrait look i'm tagging my pictures again! only this time I'm not goint to be so anal about it I used to pull up my whole list of tags and click all the ones that I thought applied. but now i'm just typing them cause it's faster why am I telling you this? 3-12-08

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Cause you're beautiful
Just not on the inside.

-Saves The Day

Confession: I don't think all the good in me could ever outweigh the bad.

I'm not a good person.

I'm a bitch. I'm a liar. I'm a coward. I'm angry and bitter. I hold grudges. I'm vengeful. I'm greedy. I put my own wants before other's needs. I argue with people sometimes just for the sake of arguing. I push people's buttons to see how far I can go before they break.

I'm a spoiled brat. Since I was a baby, I've always gotten what I wanted. No one ever said no to me. And if they did I could think up clever ways to make them say yes. Parents, friends, boyfriends, anyone. I can and will manipulate anyone to get what I want.

I hate who I've become.

Today has not been good. I feel pathetic. I've been crying all day over cigarettes. It's pretty fucking sad. I'm anxious and stressed. I'm broke and I don't have a job.

Tags:   365 365days bitch liar angry bitter greedy spoiled brat manipulative hate pathetic broke anxious stress i just need a cigarette then I'll be okay. my stomach hurts my lungs ache i want to go home heart is on the floor, why don't you step on it? download this song cause I love it. brigid said I should sendspace my music. so i am. so you guys should download my music. it'll make me feel better. 3-14-08

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(I'm not okay.)

- My Chemical Romance

Sunday April 27, 2008

Tags:   365 365days *hug* 4-26-08

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