Confession: I love my glasses!

When I was like 10 I faked being not able to see clearly. My parents took me to the doctor and I pretended I couldn't see as well as I really could. My 2 best friends had glasses and I wanted some! In the end all I ended up 'needing' reading glasses and my parents bought me a cheap pair at Wal-Mart. Now years later I really do need them. I hate that I need them but I don't hate that I have to wear them...if that makes sense. I never understood why people would make fun of someone for having to wear glasses, I mean if you can't see, you can't see and that's all there is to it. I've never felt negative about myself for having to wear glasses. I don't think they're nerdy or geeky or embarrassing and unfashionable. I I think I look cute in glasses! I've been pressured to get contacts and I did consider it for a while just so I could get the coloured ones but I tried them out once and couldn't get used to the feeling of something i my eye. Plus it just seems to me like they're more complicated than glasses, glasses are easier you just put them on. I don't have the patience to sit in front of a mirror fiddling with trying to get them in. Plus I like my glasses! I never realised that I hardly wear them in my self portraits, it's just easier for me to take them off instead of trying to get the light right so I don't have a glare on them. But got alot of comments on them in the last few pictures I've put up so I've decided to try and wear them more in my photos.

I'm kind of pissed off that I got nothing done yesterday. I was supposed to call people and do laundry and stuff and I ended up sleeping all day. I hate how messed up my sleep schedule has gotten and I can't find my Ambien so I can sleep at night instead of during the day. Anyway I woke up at like 8PM and was up all night again but I was trying to just suck it up and stay awake all day today but I ended up having to take a nap. I woke up at 3 and I'm going to try and find my sleeping pills so I can get back on a regular schedule.

I wanted to go out and get lights and fabric for my studio but it's too late now because I'm going to see Wall-E tonight and by the time that's over Lowes will be closed. :(

Anyway I have to go take a shower now, my armpits smell like death. Haha.

<3

Tags:   365 365days glasses pink hair self portrait confession

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Cause you're beautiful
Just not on the inside.

-Saves The Day

Confession: I don't think all the good in me could ever outweigh the bad.

I'm not a good person.

I'm a bitch. I'm a liar. I'm a coward. I'm angry and bitter. I hold grudges. I'm vengeful. I'm greedy. I put my own wants before other's needs. I argue with people sometimes just for the sake of arguing. I push people's buttons to see how far I can go before they break.

I'm a spoiled brat. Since I was a baby, I've always gotten what I wanted. No one ever said no to me. And if they did I could think up clever ways to make them say yes. Parents, friends, boyfriends, anyone. I can and will manipulate anyone to get what I want.

I hate who I've become.

Today has not been good. I feel pathetic. I've been crying all day over cigarettes. It's pretty fucking sad. I'm anxious and stressed. I'm broke and I don't have a job.

Tags:   365 365days bitch liar angry bitter greedy spoiled brat manipulative hate pathetic broke anxious stress i just need a cigarette then I'll be okay. my stomach hurts my lungs ache i want to go home heart is on the floor, why don't you step on it? download this song cause I love it. brigid said I should sendspace my music. so i am. so you guys should download my music. it'll make me feel better. 3-14-08

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View On Black

Confession - I am a Scorpio to the very core.

You can go HERE and read about Scorpios. Most of it's true about me.

Tags:   102608 365 365days self portrait black and white bellybutton navel navel piercing navel ring belly buttion piercing belly button ring scorpio scorpion piercing hands tummy

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Confession: I like mooses. Alot.

When I was like 6 or 7 my grandmother came to visit us in Maryland from North Dakota. She brought my brother and I gifts as most grandparents do for their grandchildren. I don't remember what she brought my brother but she brought me this stuffed mouse. It was cute and nice but mostly it was just a stupid mouse that I would throw in my closet with all other stuffed animals I didn't really care for. She was staying in my room and so her suitcase was in there. I saw this stuffed moose in there and instantly knew I HAD to have it. I asked her who it was for and she said she'd got one animal for me and one for my cousin April. I asked if I could trade and she said yes cause she's awesome like that. She handed it to me and said "Sure, you can have the cow!" And of course I had to jump in and say "Gramma, it's not a COW! It's a MOOSE!" So we argued back and forth over it for a while and it became "Cow-Moose," which drove my parents crazy because there's no such thing as a Cow-Moose.

I proved them wrong this year after seeing a documentary on Animal Planet about mooses and finding out that a female moose is indeed called a Cow Moose. HA!

Ever since then I've been obsessed with mooses collecting anything and everything with a moose on it. I've got pencils, socks, stickers, teeshirts, figurines, keychains, necklaces - if it's got a moose on it, I own it. My family thinks it's weird because it's not a 'normal' cute animal that most people collect like tigers or panda bears.

My favourite thing about Christmas is getting a new moose (or 4). Christmas isn't allowed to end until I've unwrapped at least one.

Poe is a moose my mom bought for me that somehow became my favourite. I used to carry him everywhere, and I still sleep with him.

And I know the plural for more than one moose is still moose. Mooses just sounds better.

Do you guys think I'm crazy now?

I was going to write about my whole emergency room ordeal but I want to keep this entry kind of happy. I'm doing so much better now, the naproxen is killing my stomach but the pain in my ribcage has almost gone away completely. Maybe I'll make another entry later or tomorrow. Thanks everyone for all your support and comments and mails and stuff, I really appreciate it so much! <3

Tags:   365 365days moose mooses I'm really sad Nickelodeon stopped running Rocky and Bullwinkle it was like my favourite cartoon :( confession I've never seen a live moose before and I really want to I saw a a taxidermied one in Bass Pro Shops once and I ran out crying it was a sad day. Hey Kristin! even with all these mooses, I too suffer from empty bed syndrome :(

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well still have our stories
of battle scars, pirate ships and wounded hearts,
broken bones, and all the best of friendships.

- So Long Astoria


Confession: I am a cutter.


This is one of the hardest photos for me to post. I don't say "I used to be a cutter" or "I used to cut" because cutting is an addiction. It's like being an alcoholic. Just because you stop drinking doesn't mean you stop being an alcoholic. I'll be a cutter for the rest of my life, even if I don't cut ever again. I cut for 6 years before I finally got the help I needed and found a better way to deal with my emotions.

I didn't want to out this confession until later. If I hadn't gotten a tattoo over my scars I don't think I ever would have confessed it. My tattoo has kind of forced me out of it. But I figure if I have the courage to cover my cutting spot, than I should have the courage to confess it. So here it is for the world to see. This is the only photo I have of my bare arm. And there won't ever be another one. Because I've covered it beautifully. As you'll see later tonight or tomorrow :)

Tags:   111708 365 365days self portrait confession cut cutter wrist scars jeans hand the ataris

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