Location: My Livingroom. Mays Landing, New Jersey, USA.
My submission for 52frames. Subject: "In the middle".
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I know that I haven't been on as much. To be honest, I've been busy and when I am doing a photo site I'm doing my 52frames challenges.. *which is what this is* or personal photo sessions for clients.
I am aware that I am very behind on comments... and here and there I hop on and I return some.. but I am still active, just not as much as I'd like.
Honestly when I am on the computer (its only in the morning) UNLESS I have a client's photos to take care of, then I will jump on in the evenings. But Juan and I save evenings mostly for OUR time to cuddle and watch movies together.. (Netflix, Hulu & Tubi). We love movies in the evening together. It's kind of like OUR time. And in the day time, I do my errands so I literally am only on the laptop in the mornings.
Anyway, I am doing well. Much happier and at peace with everything. I'm ready for Christmas *finally*. Just have to wrap the gifts. We are going to have a great Christmas this year, and for that I am very grateful.
I hope that you all have a fantastic holiday!
I'll be 35 on New Years Day. *Time flies* Most of my life was spent in addiction.. It feels almost like I woke up and I was 32 (about to be 33). And that kind of sucks. But I'm grateful that I made it out alive. It's just weird, like 'where did all of that time go?'. But I'm here now, and that's ALL that matters.
Grateful every day. Praising God daily. I couldn't have done it without him. Juan and I are both so grateful. Thanks again everryone. God bless and happy holidays!
Tags: lock keys hammontonphotography jessicam jessicamyers jessicamyers0101 nikon dslr digital camera d3500 18-55mm newjersey NJ jnjnj southnewjersey 100 x: The 2021 Edition 100x:2021 Image 79/100 favorite places flatlay black lockandkey juan 52frames in the middle explore december 17 2021 December 17th
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My X = My 100 Favorite Places to take Photographs in Southern New Jersey.
Location: My Garden, Hardings Lakes, Mays Landing, New Jersey (Atlantic County), USA.
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I have to be honest. I'm totally IN LOVE with this photo
My Roses. I am NOT a gardener, nor am I any good at it. So my roses that I bought myself for Mother's Day (not this past Mother's Day - but the one before).. the fact that they're not only ALIVE but THRIVING.. makes me VERY PROUD!
They kind of remind me of myself, if I think about it...
They're just set there - in the middle of a garden - that isn't too great to begin with. (I'm not that great of a gardener, like I said). And when all of the other plants around them are fading .. these roses are standing tall. My little rose plant, is turning into a small rose bush. It's spreading out... and blooming. Against ALL ODDS- this little plant is thriving.. happily.. and blossoming so beautifully. And everyone notices, and admires. Although, they don't quite realize how hard that rose has had to work- to get to where she is today. Like myself.
I love my little rose bush.
And I love this photograph.
And I love myself.
I love my life. I love my struggles. I love my pain. I love who I have grown to become and who I am striving to be. I am proud of myself every single day, and so grateful. And I write these things, because I need people to KNOW & UNDERSTAND that THIS IS POSSIBLE! Recovery is possible. Changing your life around IS possible. And it's such an amazing feeling and accomplishment. It doesn't mean that it's easy breezy.. because it's not. But it's definitely worth it. Even on the worst days.. it's far better than the best day in addiction.
Today I get to choose HOW I cope with my struggles. I can cope with them ANY WAY I want, as long as I don't pick up. I can cry, I can laugh thru my tears.. I can write it down, I can talk it out... but however I choose to deal with my feelings (I just don't use) and I'm just that much stronger thru the struggle.
November 15th, 2021 will be 3 years. 3 years without one sip of alcohol, one drug.. anything. To me- that is the biggest deal - you could ever imagine.
But even more than that... The life I've built for myself in the process... I'm so grateful for.
The relationship that I've built with God.. The love for myself that I've discovered..
I'm just grateful.
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I hope that you all have a BLESSED WEEK!
Take care.
I love and appreciate you all.
Tags: 100 x: The 2021 Edition 100x:2021 Image 72/100 Roses Favorite Places Location Take Photos Southern New Jersey NJ jnjnj Atlantic City county NewJersey Mays Landing Hardings Lakes Home Garden Pink colorful beautiful bokeh macro floral flowers nature natural light nikon DSLR digital camera lens d3500 18-55mm details focus jessicam jessicamyers hammontonphotography hammonton photographer close up inspiration journal writing blog poetry feelings inspire wisdom addiction recovery life
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An older photo taken by me.
I wanted to upload a photo, and I was going to upload one of my newer photos.. and then I realized my SD card is in my camera.. and before grabbing it I realized it's been a very long time since I've uploaded one of my older photos. (So here's one).
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Today is a busy-ish week.
We've had quite a few appointments.. and thankfully we've already made it thru more than half of them (with the least amount of stress- which I'm SO grateful for!) I was really expecting it to be a lot more stressful.. (I'm a 'catastrophic thinker' due to my PTSD and I'm always panicking and expecting the worst).. But after whatever the situation is - is done, I'm always grateful that it didn't go as bad as I'd imagined.. However, I am hoping to work thru that part of my PTSD because it's debilitating. They say stress is really bad for you, well if you guys knew the amount of stress that my body goes thru for a simple appointment (most of the time) you'd understand why this is an issue to me. I spoke to a professional about it, and I'm going to make an appointment soon to talk to him... he seems to think that it's fixable.
>>Example of my catastrophic thinking is: After Juan drops me off for work, he KNOWS that he has to message me when he makes it hope safely. If he doesn't, I will call him on my break.. & if he doesn't answer.. (without my mind sorting it out and being optimistic) I literally think that his car is upside-down in a ditch.. on fire. and YEAH... so you can see why this can be an issue??) I am very grateful that Juan understands this! He remembers 95% of the time to message me, "SAFE". But that other 5%...?! AHHH!
Anyway.. I am grateful to have coworkers, friends and family who understand this about me. I mean I guess it's not THAT big of an issue.. it goes hand in hand with my severe anxiety. However, I work thru it EVERY DAY (and it's very bad). The PTSD is managed right now for the most part thru medication.. (it works wonders for the flash backs and nightmares- it's a miracle medication).
◻ It is 100% possible to WORK & be a functioning/valuable member of society after trauma. After addiction & coming from the very bottom, you can also rise up. I am an example of both, gratefully.
Now, like I said.. it isn't easy.. and it can get VERY bad some days. I just have to make sure to let everyone know as soon as I realize - that my anxiety is really acting up.. & I am so grateful for the people in my life, who love me & understand.
But, like I said.. it IS possible to function. It is possible to LIVE. Even though some days it feels impossible.. you push through it! And you SURVIVE! The feeling afterwards is amazing.. That you made it through another day.. (when it felt like you wouldn't). But the best feeling is when you realize how great of a support system that you have surrounding you...
THIS IS WHY- you have to talk to people about it. Not everyone. But the people who are close to you and work with you/live with you.. They need to know & understand.. and that will make all of the difference.. (for you to continue and succeed.
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I truly hope that you all have a BEAUTIFUL & BLESSED DAY!
Thank you all for all of your kind words, support & comments.
Thank you for your continuous friendships. I appreciate you all.. and look forward to reading your nice comments & viewing your beautiful photos/artwork.
THANK YOU GUYS.
Take care!
Tags: d3500 d3100 d5000 d90 18-55mm lens nikon DSLR digital camera older jessicam jessicamyers jessicamyers0101 jessica_digiacomo hammonton New Jersey NJ southernNJ atlantic city county colors colorful blue negative space simplicity focus macro bokeh wings insect nature natural light sunlight outdoors outside anxiety depression PTSD awareness support emotional mental health information recovery drugs addiction trauma ll
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67/100x
My X = My 100 Favorite Places in Southern New Jersey, USA to take Photographs!
Location: Harding's Lakes, Mays Landing, New Jersey, USA (Atlantic County)
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◼ONE of my Autumn Mini Session Set-Ups for 2021◼
I was playing around setting up one of my sets, playing around with some of my props - getting some ideas.. *seeing how it looks on the camera* etc. & Here came REESE!! (My beautiful camera SHY dachshund! Yes!! You read that correctly, My dog is very CAMERA SHY! I suppose she wanted to come check out what Mommy was doing. But she stayed put for a few photos.. before running back off to chase squirrels. But I managed to get my first "Autumn mini-session photo for 2021" and of a loving member of my family..! I suppose this photo was just meant to be!
I'm so happy about it.. I love it so much! I'm definitely going to be framing this! That's my angel! This moment is very rare & pure luck. I'm loving it!
& Perhaps I'll book some mini-sessions with dogs/cats now too? *Sounds intimidating!* Haha!
I hope that you all have a fantastic & SAFE holiday! Have a beautiful week! Smile & stay blessed!
Tags: 100 x: The 2021 Edition 100x:2021 Image 67/100 challenges minisessions mini sessions photography setup autumn fall halloween decorating seasons decor pumpkins gourds dog dachshund doggy puppy puppies reese crates leaves photoshoot session jnjnj favorite places photographs NJ southernNJ south new jersey atlantic city county hardings lakes mays landing hammontonphotography hammonton USA colorful colors wood props scarecrow cute portraits portrait small jessicam jessicamyers jessicamyers0101 nikon DSLR digital camera lens focus vivid bold d3500 18-55mm details sunlight natural decorated decorations
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[27/52] DISCOVERY.
&
[66/100x].
My X = My 100 Favorite Places to Take Photographs in South New Jersey, USA!
Location: Hammonton, New Jersey. Horizon Grocery.
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This photo is special for a number of reasons. Not only has this photo been used for 3 challenges.. (also on 52frames for week 36: WOMAN) .. but it's one of my first self portraits in a VERY long time!.
...When it comes to self confidence, I used to have a ton. I used to model, and even when I was done modeling.. I still could do some mean self portraits (and look good in them). But during this time I also developed a drug addiction (as most of you know).. & I lost it all. Everything I ever had, or built... I lost. Stuff that I can never ever get back.. (Honestly I could go on for hours telling you all that I lost...) BUT, why do that? I'm slowly working my butt off, to do right. To stay sober and build it all back up. And i'm so happy. I may not have the confidence (in front of the camera) that maybe I should.. But I do love myself finally, and I do have confidence. But getting back in front of the camera is almost scary for me. I was so nervous today to do this photo. Thank you Juan for all of your help and patience.. *because I did get an attitude- from frustrations and sweating in the humidity with makeup on (that drives me bananas)* But thank you Juan for all of your help.
Anyway, after a few snaps in front of the local grocery store.. I felt confident in getting a photo I could use. I'm glad I did. I feel happy about this photo.. and that I did a self portrait. It's been OHHH TOO LONG!
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Hoping that you all have a blessed week! Take care!
-JessiCaM
texture borrowed from : www.flickr.com/photos/49123319@N08/51386689898/in/datepos...
Tags: Week 27 2021 Fri 02 July 2021 52 Weeks: The 2021 Edition Discovery Challenges Self Portrait Esteem 100 x: The 2021 Edition 100x:2021 Image 66/100 favorite places take photographs southernNJ southNJ jnjnj newjersey nj usa atlantic county city hammonton hammontonphotography hammontonphoto jessicam jessicamyers jessicamyers0101 NIKON dslr digital camera lens d3500 18-55mm colorful woman girl lady portraits sunglasses overalls wall beauty sassy confidence Finding Myself textures
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