Fluidr / Andy Newton photography's favorites

7-up
by PentlandPirate: Innes House Photography

7-up

by PentlandPirate: Innes House Photography

A Nikon D750 — 1/50s ƒ/8 ISO 50 at 85 mm

N 98 B 3.7K C 12 E Feb 9, 2023 F Feb 9, 2023

DESCRIPTION
COMMENT
MAP
O
L
M

Ahhh! You may remember I met Magnus, Murdo and Mac a few days ago and Murdo was talking about going down to the Fintry Inn for a pint with the rest of the lads...all ten of them. Well, this morning I was surprised to see there were just seven of them on the hillside, and as I approached the others advanced as if eager to tell me more. It was Malcolm, Malkie apparently, who came to the front, actually a little sheepishly. I climbed the gate and went to them, arms out as if requesting an explanation. They responded with a low, "Ummmm!", puzzled expressions on their faces as if searching for words. And then quite suddenly it all spilled out, from Mingus of all bullocks.

Well, it seems they had all rushed the fence on the hillside, trampling the barbed wire into the damp earth, and rushed at a canter down to the pub. A great night ensued, raucous fun as they attempted the open-mic cowraoke session, fuelled with Magner's Irish hard cider. They had got through gallons. Five of them were just belting out "Beauty and the Beast", Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson (well, it had been Melville's choice) when farmer Fraser came in with three bouncy Young Farmers. It was hard to know who was more shocked: Fraser farmer or The Dirty Macs, as the bullocks had playfully named their singing group. The bullocks stopped singing and moving to the music and it became evident they had only been miming as the vocals continued without them. All of a sudden they decided to bolt, straight through the bar, all ten of them. There was mayhem, tables and chairs tossed aside like a full on Pamplona bull run. Initially two of them wedged in the door before Magnus hit the back of them at full pelt, catapulting Malkie into the road outside. The other's skittered after him out of the pub, hooves, flailing and skidding on the slate floor. Mingus, let himself go in the melee, and fresh slurry greased their rushed exit. But farmer Fraser pushed aside his young ladies at the bar and dived towards the door slamming it on Murdo's neck. He was trapped, and no matter how hard he tried, and bellowed, he couldn't get out.

Outside, there was only one thing to do for the seven brothers.....run! Run for the hills! And they took off at high speed up the road through the hamlet

Back in the Fintry, there was wild panic with three wild bullocks trapped in the bar. But Fraser and his young farmer helpers soon had all three wrestled to the floor. Jimmie from Northead Farm instinctively came up with the plan to reverse his Toyota Hilux and Ivor Williams stock trailer up to the pub door. The bullocks on the floor were released and all three suddenly dashed through the now re-opened pub door to find themselves shut in the trailer.

"So what became of Murdo, Magnus and Mac?" I asked.

"Dunno" said Mingus "We're all shitting ourselves wondering what's happened to them. They haven't showed up in the field yet, and farmer Fraser hasn't brought us any fresh hay or cattle nuts. We're all famished!"

Tags: fintry scotland highland cattle stirks bullocks never forget piggies