I have my father’s blue eyes, his olive skin and curly hair. I have his mother’s two crooked teeth, exactly as hers were. I have his nose, not quite a Jewish nose but something in between. His family was Jewish with over 100 family members killed in the Holocaust. One branch of the family escaped to England and then a boat took them to Australia, eventually leading to me.

My mother’s great grandfather took another boat from England to Tasmania but this was at the request of Her Majesty, as a convict. No heart-warming story about stealing a loaf of bread to feed his family. He was convicted for petty larceny- stealing from a hawker, (brooches, spoons, boots, slippers, gun powder and gun caps). He met his wife, another convict, eventually leading to my mother and then me.

The lines on my face are my mother’s and her mothers. I have the exact same deep furrows, especially one that curves like an upside down frown above my right eye.

As with many of my parent’s generation, they had hard lives growing up. My father was an only child. His father died when he was 13 leaving my grandmother, a single mother during difficult economic times. She was a seamstress and walked the streets with a suitcase, traveling from house to house to sell the clothes she’d sown or mended in a tiny backroom of their Californian Bungalow.

My mother’s father was an alcoholic and a violent man. Her mother suffered mental illness and was committed to a mental institution just when my mother was reaching adolescence. She later died at 52 without ever coming out. The children were split up and sent to live with relatives. My mother was the only girl in her aunt’s household and thus became the maid to the family. She was often sent to school without shoes. She rarely spoke of her past. I learnt most of this after she died but she told me once that her school mates called her Little Orphan Annie. Love was not overflowing in that household.

I had a relatively happy childhood where there was much love but there are things, looking back I understand more clearly now.

I do look back at these stories and although I did not live their lives, I wonder how much of their silent sadness and harshness of the past is carried within my DNA and weaved into my own life and that of my children.

I made this image primarily because I wanted to play with some Photoshop techniques and really it was all about that scarf! I didn’t really intend to show my face but I decided I would be brave for once. This morphed into something else as it is confronting to work on your own face. I have promised myself I will do more because I need to be brave and not care what others think.

I have softened some of the lines, those under the eyes and on the forehead but they are mostly still there.

After-all, they are part of the uncomfortable stories of my DNA.

For my children.

Tags:   Portrait scarf face woman self portrait

© All Rights Reserved

Line from a Bob Dylan Bootleg song –Up to Me

I made this image for our Camera Club’s “Selfie” theme. As I stupidly came up with the theme I felt I had to make something. This image took about 3 hours to make all up and was nothing like what I intended. I just experimented with lots of different movements as I knew I wanted a long exposure without too many defined features. When I looked at the results on the LCD of the camera, I liked this head movement best. I had a 4 sec exposure and moved my head in different positions. It was trial an error with the speed of movement to get what I wanted. I then used textures and layers in Photoshop.

I almost didn’t put it up but it took too long to make and it is a progression in my photography of sorts.

Is it just me or is anyone else feeling the pressure that they should be learning new skills to become better at something? Every day, we are being bombarded with the messages about the things we could be doing now we have so much time on our hands. I am still working a fair bit of the time, have a monster new puppy, two messy birds and a daughter just starting back at school for remote learning for what is the toughest year in a child’s schooling. Four people at home all the time means more meals, more dishes etc....What extra time! I start one thing then move onto something else without finishing anything ;-).

I am so very grateful to have a roof over my head a partner with a job, to be together with my family and be well.

I just hope I don’t back at this strange time as an enemy and think I should have done more to became a piano playing, Japanese speaking, Photoshop artist and Master Chef rolled into one!

Tags:   CCC Self portrait Selfie artistry Texture woman Long Exposure

© All Rights Reserved

FFF+ Snap Happy is a group for FFF images that reflect positivity, happiness, joy and beauty only. Lovely Di chose the theme Selfies this week.

Like many, I cannot say that doing selfies brings me any joy, more like horror.

However, I can say that putting on a dress, my vintage velvet jacket and a dash of red lipstick gave me a moment of joy. (and also got someone else in the household excited! - a nice change from the recent uniform of "leisure wear")

The rain was gently falling throughout all my attempts which was also quite lovely.

Tags:   Happy Snaps. Monday Selfie flower red woman Self portrait

© All Rights Reserved

Out on the wiley, windy moors......

Thanks to Jesse for inspiration for the title when he commented on another post of the area that all it needed was Heathcliff and Cathy!

Dog Rocks is a Flora and Fauna Sanctuary, near Geelong, The Dog Rocks themselves, are an outcrop of Devonian granite, intruded some 350 million years ago.

The is one of those "that Tree" a lone tree perched on top of a hill set amongst the ancient rocky outcrops. Photographers congregate to capture its beautiful form against a sunset sky. The sky never really performed for us last night but teased us with possibilities of what is possible on a good night. We will just have to go back again and next time will look for Cathy and Heathcliff dancing around the rocks with the wild winds.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW3gKKiTvjs

Tags:   Batesford Dog Rocks FFFM sunset tree Dog Rocks Nature Reserve Trust for Nature rocks rocky outcrop StormsCloudsSunsetSunrise Victoria AUSTRALIA Nikon D750

© All Rights Reserved