Day 366 / May 23 2012
I'm turning 20 tomorrow.
My last year as a teenager is over and I kept saying I wasn't ready until somewhere this afternoon I realized that didn't matter at all. Time won't wait. My birthday will still come again no matter how much I dread it and I will get older even if I don't want to.
So, I'll face it.
This has been a year of self-development, of growth, changes and being courageous. I've felt pushed into growing up on several accounts and I've gotten scared a lot more often. Things have changed a lot since the beginning of my 366.
Not the least that I'm single after a two-year relationship (this happened at the very beginning of the project), I'm studying again, I've gotten my photo on a book cover, I've lost some friends and gained a lot more. I've moved out and I'm living in a different city for the first time in my life (there's still photos coming about that). And I will be twenty tomorrow....
This photo is obviously based on the very first photo of my 366. I will never really like the not shallow depth of fields (at least not when I do it, and ugh Flickr sharpening), but it was needed in this photo. It's taken in the same room, but with the doors open, standing on the highest floor of our house, leaving my beloved stuffed animals behind. I've actually done that. I didn't take Nala (the one I'm holding) with me to my room in Utrecht. Some nights I miss her, but most nights it's okay. I will always love stuffed animals though. That's something that will probably never change.
Unlike all the other things. It's an odd feeling being so aware of growing up and changing. It's even worse to be in this dilemma of fighting it and wanting to grow up faster. I look forward to the future, SO MUCH. Yet it's horribly frightening at the same time, and I wish I could stay that little girl. The youngest sister. But even the youngest of the family has to grow up someday.
I'm still learning, obviously, I'm still fighting with myself a lot. There's still a lot I want to do that I already should have done but haven't. There's endless things left to discover about myself and others and the world.
No more playing pretend, I will try to face the world fearlessly.
I want to thank all of you, again. I wonder if I can ever thank you enough. It's been incredible that you even stuck with me while I was getting so behind, and that people have sent me messages asking if I was quitting the project, or that they missed my photos. It means the world to me. I may not have photographed everyday, but I wonder if I would've even gone through to the end if it weren't for your constant support. So thank you so incredibly much, and I love you. You're all amazing. The people who've been there for me, and the people who've been giving me a bit of trouble for not uploading (I think you know who you are!), thank you so much!
I still have plenty to upload, plenty to show you. The rest of the Project and my meetup with Rona being the start of it. I'll just keep shooting in the mean time, I wonder when I'll catch up.
It's 23.53 now and I'm almost not a teenager anymore.
That makes me a little sad, but it's okay. The future is bright, right?
Project is finally completely (well, as much as I want to) uploaded
Tags: noukka signe stuffed animals project 365
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Day 228 / January 6
Pretty different from my usual style, but I kinda like it. There are really fun behind the scenes of this one, which will be in an upcoming blogpost. You can see the rest of the actual series here on my blog
and the "behind the scenes"!
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Tags: noukka signe project 365 paint raw mouth portrait
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