.....looking at children's behaviour as 'good or bad' or 'naughty or nice' means you are judging and labeling them (objectify and commodify)...but far far worse you are missing out on the opportunity to learn from the child what is actually happening to them and miss out on the teachable moment being presented...young children are unable to articulate with developed language what they feel let alone what they perceive as the truth...you as the adult have to take the time to ask questions and listen to what the child says, does or feels about the experience before you can guide, teach or educate them on what other choices of action could have been acted on for next time...when a child speaks they are telling you their truth and will fight very hard to be believed and you as the adult have to acknowledge their truth...the adults using shaming, embarrassing, humiliating, bulling or demoralizing actions at children never solves any problem but pushes the child deeper and deeper into trauma which one day will be acted out at the expense of the child and the wider community.
-
The bad feelings we get inside when we make mistakes is caused by the bodies instincts of 'fight' or 'running away' that has failed us. When our 'fight' or 'running away' instinct fails us when we are children we feel trapped just like wild animals do but most humans have forgotten to shake off the bad feelings that wild animals do.
-
Far too many children have stopped shaking off the bad feelings or worse are taught by their loving parents and care givers to not shake 'but settle down' given sedative drugs and are keeping those bad feelings inside themselves which will either come out later at someone else (domestic violence is one way it comes out later) or these bad feelings stay inside the person and this is called trauma. We must re-learn to shake off all bad feelings as quickly as possible and learn resilience. Not just bounce back resilience but 1x bounce back, 2x shake off, 3x learn by mistake and 4x step up resilience.
Loading contexts...
