Cause you're beautiful
Just not on the inside.
-Saves The Day
Confession: I don't think all the good in me could ever outweigh the bad.
I'm not a good person.
I'm a bitch. I'm a liar. I'm a coward. I'm angry and bitter. I hold grudges. I'm vengeful. I'm greedy. I put my own wants before other's needs. I argue with people sometimes just for the sake of arguing. I push people's buttons to see how far I can go before they break.
I'm a spoiled brat. Since I was a baby, I've always gotten what I wanted. No one ever said no to me. And if they did I could think up clever ways to make them say yes. Parents, friends, boyfriends, anyone. I can and will manipulate anyone to get what I want.
I hate who I've become.
Today has not been good. I feel pathetic. I've been crying all day over cigarettes. It's pretty fucking sad. I'm anxious and stressed. I'm broke and I don't have a job.
Tags: 365 365days bitch liar angry bitter greedy spoiled brat manipulative hate pathetic broke anxious stress i just need a cigarette then I'll be okay. my stomach hurts my lungs ache i want to go home heart is on the floor, why don't you step on it? download this song cause I love it. brigid said I should sendspace my music. so i am. so you guys should download my music. it'll make me feel better. 3-14-08
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Today could be a different day
if the sky lifts up the haze
off of my front lawn
or just another time i hold my tears
for another year
on my way back home.
-The Starting Line
It's better here.
I've been in Oklahoma for over a year. I really truly hate it here. It's a complete 180 compared to the East Coast.
Oklahoma city? What a lie. It's not a city. You want to see a city? Go to DC, Baltimore, Philly. Those are cities. This is a fucking fraud.
The people here are SO narrow minded. They're all judgmental bible thumpers and I'm tired of it. I'm sick of dirty looks, of people not respecting my opinions, I'm tired of people telling me that I'm wrong! The whole state is just completely backwards. I want to go home. I miss the ocean. I'm suffocating.
*// I don't know why but everytime I post something like this where I've used Photoshop brushes, just tools outside of editing contrast/colour and adding a border, I feel like I'm cheating. Because Photoshop seems to be such a dirty word amongst photographers. I know alot of people think that Photoshop is an easy way to make a boring photo interesting and I don't want people to think of my photos that way.
March 2008 Monthly Scavenger Hunt Solitary
Tags: shadow selfportrait photoshop photomanipulation outside outdoors nature jeans home grey gray dead anxiety angry 365days 365 hoodie tree trees branch branches sticks thestartingline msh0308 msh0308-13 2-21-08
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Because they’re always coming back (coming back).
- Say Anything
I don't mean to be this depressing or take such moody pictures.
They just kind of "happen."
I could have taken a happy smiley picture.
But then I would be lying.
I fell asleep on the couch at around 4, woke up at 9. Now I feel terrible. Everything aches. I have to get up early tomorrow morning to take my dad to the airport. Ugh.
But I'm looking forward to the break. I'm SO tired of hearing "Would you put that goddamn camera down for 5 minutes?"
NO.
Because I can't. It might as well be surgically attached to my hand. Cause I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not holding it.
Does that make any sense?
Tags: sissy called! it was fantastic BFESP 365 365days 4-13-08
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Do you ever feel like giving up?
-The Ataris
Bad day.
Tags: cry crying tears wet eyelashes eyeball sad depressed pain ache hurt the ataris bad day 365 365days self portrait 3-9-08
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