Cause you're beautiful
Just not on the inside.

-Saves The Day

Confession: I don't think all the good in me could ever outweigh the bad.

I'm not a good person.

I'm a bitch. I'm a liar. I'm a coward. I'm angry and bitter. I hold grudges. I'm vengeful. I'm greedy. I put my own wants before other's needs. I argue with people sometimes just for the sake of arguing. I push people's buttons to see how far I can go before they break.

I'm a spoiled brat. Since I was a baby, I've always gotten what I wanted. No one ever said no to me. And if they did I could think up clever ways to make them say yes. Parents, friends, boyfriends, anyone. I can and will manipulate anyone to get what I want.

I hate who I've become.

Today has not been good. I feel pathetic. I've been crying all day over cigarettes. It's pretty fucking sad. I'm anxious and stressed. I'm broke and I don't have a job.

Tags:   365 365days bitch liar angry bitter greedy spoiled brat manipulative hate pathetic broke anxious stress i just need a cigarette then I'll be okay. my stomach hurts my lungs ache i want to go home heart is on the floor, why don't you step on it? download this song cause I love it. brigid said I should sendspace my music. so i am. so you guys should download my music. it'll make me feel better. 3-14-08

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well still have our stories
of battle scars, pirate ships and wounded hearts,
broken bones, and all the best of friendships.

- So Long Astoria


Confession: I am a cutter.


This is one of the hardest photos for me to post. I don't say "I used to be a cutter" or "I used to cut" because cutting is an addiction. It's like being an alcoholic. Just because you stop drinking doesn't mean you stop being an alcoholic. I'll be a cutter for the rest of my life, even if I don't cut ever again. I cut for 6 years before I finally got the help I needed and found a better way to deal with my emotions.

I didn't want to out this confession until later. If I hadn't gotten a tattoo over my scars I don't think I ever would have confessed it. My tattoo has kind of forced me out of it. But I figure if I have the courage to cover my cutting spot, than I should have the courage to confess it. So here it is for the world to see. This is the only photo I have of my bare arm. And there won't ever be another one. Because I've covered it beautifully. As you'll see later tonight or tomorrow :)

Tags:   111708 365 365days self portrait confession cut cutter wrist scars jeans hand the ataris

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View On Black

Confession - I am a Scorpio to the very core.

You can go HERE and read about Scorpios. Most of it's true about me.

Tags:   102608 365 365days self portrait black and white bellybutton navel navel piercing navel ring belly buttion piercing belly button ring scorpio scorpion piercing hands tummy

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Im ready so don't stop.
I'm ready to falllllll.

Confession: I love being in love. It's wonderful and awful at the same time. The rush of euphoric feelings, the passion, whether it be in getting caught up in another person's soul or arguing and screaming and crying until you feel like your heart is going to burst - and then making up and falling back in love all over again, every time you see that person's face. Holding hands, kissing, making silly faces at each other, driving around for no reason other than just to drive and BE with that person. I love it all. And I want to be in love. And I think this year is my year. I want to find love more than almost anything.

Tags:   365 365days 011809 self portrait teal teal hair face piercings Jack's Mannequin

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Confession: I like mooses. Alot.

When I was like 6 or 7 my grandmother came to visit us in Maryland from North Dakota. She brought my brother and I gifts as most grandparents do for their grandchildren. I don't remember what she brought my brother but she brought me this stuffed mouse. It was cute and nice but mostly it was just a stupid mouse that I would throw in my closet with all other stuffed animals I didn't really care for. She was staying in my room and so her suitcase was in there. I saw this stuffed moose in there and instantly knew I HAD to have it. I asked her who it was for and she said she'd got one animal for me and one for my cousin April. I asked if I could trade and she said yes cause she's awesome like that. She handed it to me and said "Sure, you can have the cow!" And of course I had to jump in and say "Gramma, it's not a COW! It's a MOOSE!" So we argued back and forth over it for a while and it became "Cow-Moose," which drove my parents crazy because there's no such thing as a Cow-Moose.

I proved them wrong this year after seeing a documentary on Animal Planet about mooses and finding out that a female moose is indeed called a Cow Moose. HA!

Ever since then I've been obsessed with mooses collecting anything and everything with a moose on it. I've got pencils, socks, stickers, teeshirts, figurines, keychains, necklaces - if it's got a moose on it, I own it. My family thinks it's weird because it's not a 'normal' cute animal that most people collect like tigers or panda bears.

My favourite thing about Christmas is getting a new moose (or 4). Christmas isn't allowed to end until I've unwrapped at least one.

Poe is a moose my mom bought for me that somehow became my favourite. I used to carry him everywhere, and I still sleep with him.

And I know the plural for more than one moose is still moose. Mooses just sounds better.

Do you guys think I'm crazy now?

I was going to write about my whole emergency room ordeal but I want to keep this entry kind of happy. I'm doing so much better now, the naproxen is killing my stomach but the pain in my ribcage has almost gone away completely. Maybe I'll make another entry later or tomorrow. Thanks everyone for all your support and comments and mails and stuff, I really appreciate it so much! <3

Tags:   365 365days moose mooses I'm really sad Nickelodeon stopped running Rocky and Bullwinkle it was like my favourite cartoon :( confession I've never seen a live moose before and I really want to I saw a a taxidermied one in Bass Pro Shops once and I ran out crying it was a sad day. Hey Kristin! even with all these mooses, I too suffer from empty bed syndrome :(

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