I'm still burning with the desire to spend time as my female self but highly unlikely to have an opportunity before summer at the earliest. As ever I'm reliving my past experiences of dressing as a woman through browsing my photos and videos (in which I ramble on, and on, and on...)

Feeling the need to express my femme self I'm posting yet another of my cross-dressing musings. All I can say , despite being out of practice and applying my make-up rather ineptly, I loved my time as a woman!

The dress I am wearing in this video really felt amazing and I truly adored wearing it, it was fabulous, I felt quite the girl! I just love cross-dressing and the emotive freedom it gives me.

Tags:   transgender transsexual transvestite transvestism trans crossdress crossdresser crossdressing female impersonator Female impersonation female illusion female portrayal female alter ego dressing up as a woman tranny T-gurl T-girl

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These last few days have seen my desire to spend time as a woman continue to fill me with an overwhelming desire. No-one said being a cross-dresser was easy! Once more, I have taken refuge in my usual coping method as I have no opportunity to set free my inner desire to appear as a woman. I'm back browsing my photo and video archive and enjoying the memories from this times in the past when I actually managed to cross-dress. It's always a heart warming experience as I do so love to dress as a woman, I adore it!

As I dress alone and in private 99.9% of the time (I have on rare occasions met with other cross-dressers and even ventured out as a woman, but truly, this is incredibly rare. I have too much fear and lack confidence in my appearance and ability to act female), I have come to use the camera as my friend and confidante. In the last ten years I have enjoyed talking in a stream of consciousness manner to a video camera. I never get an opportunity to voice my feelings about my transgender feelings so the camera is my outlet.

I would genuinely encourage others to do this as it is so liberating to be appearing as a woman and to just talk freely and openly about it all. You never have to show the video if you prefer not to, it's more, well for me, the actual freedom when recording rather than any worthwhile outcome, I just love the liberation and freedom it provides.

I'm posting a bit of video, more random musings really, from back in March 2023, pretty much a year ago. I had attempted a different look to my usual. I wore stronger coloured ;lipstick, heavier eyeliner and shaped my eyebrows differently and cost a more sassy patterned dress and glossy patent stiletto court shoes. It was partly driven by the suppressed actor within me, I wanted to try and portray myself as a confident but feminine wife. I love the dare, the adventure of challenging myself to behave completely female. As I'm in my sixties now I will never be an attractive young woman so I'm aiming for the mature housewife who has a bit of sass and adventure about her.

I harbour a lot of fantasies alongside my cross-dressing, one is going out for a meal as a wife with a husband and being perceived completely as the woman. It's an odd one as I'm not attracted to men but rather, a bit unfair of me I would say, I would be willing to use a man as a prop to try and help sell my female illusion...what an adventure!

The video is rubbish in reality and for some reason I literally just stopped speaking (as the abrupt ending will show). I'm editing the video in a bit of a rush as I'm so rarely on my own and I have a unforeseen half hour alone. I could probably have chosen parts from other recordings I made back in March 2023 but time is against me. I'm really only posting the video more as a wee celebration to myself that I can exist, albeit briefly, now and again as a woman. The video is a confirmation to me I can o occasion free my female self. I love spending time as a woman, love it!

Tags:   transvestite transgender transsexual transvestism transvestite video transexual transsexualism crossdress crossdresser crossdressing tranny trans trannie T-girl T-gurl third sex female impersonator Female impersonation female illusion gender swap gender illusion gender man as woman man in dress sexuality Male to female mature transvestite

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Some days I just yearn to be wearing full feminine attire. I find myself wanting to apply make-up, choose nice lingerie, put on a dress and step into feminine shoes. In that moment I just want to be a woman! I find my heart bursts with the desire. It's powerful, and it can crash in with no warning, literally...bam!

Of course my reality Is I rarely have an opportunity to free my female self and I have to suppress the all consuming desire that has overcome me. At times such as these, I can cope by looking back at pictures of myself appearing as my female as it reminds I have, at times, actually taken on a female appearance, and how I so loved those times when they happen!

In recent years my opportunities to cross-dress and free my feminine side have been limited. I always enjoy every minute of those occasions though and I'm delighted I am able to do this, albeit rarely. When I am my female self I always enjoy the clothes, the fit, the feel, how they move, I enjoy wearing make-up, I just enjoy imagining I am a woman. At times, I almost delude myself I am one!

Today I am missing my female side so I browsed a few of my more recent pictures. I came across this selfie shot from just over a year ago, March 2023, and it felt like it captured my quiet contentment at being a woman. I had attempted a real world female look with my make-up, hair and dress and enjoyed the time more than I can express.

Tags:   transvestite transgender transvestism transsexual transsexualism crossdress tranny T-girl T-gurl trannie Male to female man in dress mature transvestite female impersonator female illusion female portrayal female alter ego Woman Womanhood Adores being pretty Adores womanhood Enjoying femininity Evolving femininity Feminine Who she really is Successfully feminised Womanhood beckons Respectable femininity Respectable lady

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Despite a lifetime of knowing, and on occasion indulging, that I love to cross-dress as a woman it has always been a desire that has been an activity I rarely manage engage with. It comes down to real life I that I have other commitments and priorities that I feel must come ahead of my own desires. For me personally, my own family and their security are what I feel more strongly about over my own trans feelings and dressing as a woman.

In a good year I may enjoy two cross-dressing sessions though sometimes I may have to wait several years between sessions. Despite the long periods of no cross-dressing I don't feel too distraught. I say that as my family are aware I like to spend tome as a woman, though they are not delighted by this they do tolerate it. It is an open secret in the family but is never discussed. I have mo wish to cause upset and disruption so I'm very willing too keep quiet about how I feel about wanting to present as a female and how I feel emotionally when I do set free my female self. I say that as I feel truly fortunate that my family do let me go ahead and cross-dress completely.

By completely I mean I am able to pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs, chest and arms, apply make-up as a woman would, pant my nails, wear dresses, high heels and wigs and feel utterly free as the female I know exists within me. This may sound a bit strange, but when I transform into my female alter-ego, I no longer feel I am a man, I love being the woman I've become.

I accept that may be see as delusional as it is on the surface a facade, it's illusion created by make-up, shaving and wearing female clothing. I'm sure the general perception would be I am merely dressing up as an actor may for a performance. I feel though, at leat for me, more is involved than that. I will confess, the male part of me does actually enjoy the transformation process and creating the outward illusion of trying to look like a woman, there is a suppressed actor lurking within me, so becoming the character is an element of what I enjoy.

There is more to it than that, It has taken many years of fighting self doubt to admit to myself but a part of me loves the emotional release that I am not a man anymore, it takes me beyond the initial enjoyment of performance. I feel I'm moving into becoming!

I adore being Helene, I absolutely love being her. I say her, but really she is me. I enjoy being a female. This may add to me being even more delusional as I live as a man, but I won't deny I feel good freeing this part of myself.

I feel more alive and confident being a woman, and I enjoy the change that occurs emotionally. I become more chatty, more tactile, more open, my emotions are expressed more freely, it just feels so fulfilling. This may a symptom of the reality that I so rarely get to appear as a woman so it all comes to the fore when I do become Helene. I do find I am more fun loving as a woman and I often feel a kind of sexiness and flirtyness emerging.

At times I so forget I am a man that I imagine I could be girlfriend or a wife, I am contented to be the female. I say that but there is a twist! The thing I have realised over the years is though I would enjoy the thrill of being perceived as a woman alongside a man, I could only ever do that as a performance. The truth is I am not attracted to men but I am attracted to women (some may so much I wanted to be one!). I think Helene the woman is a lesbian. Knowing that, gives me quite a boost as I've been wondering for years about my sexuality. I just find women appealing and attractive and have no feelings like that towards men.

I think cross-dressing is driven by many different desires by those of us who engage in it. We all have varied motivations driving us as is evident by the wide ranging presentations shown here on Flickr be it from a transsexual aspect to sexual excitement, it covers a wide spectrum.

The underlying thing that prevails, whatever one's motivations are, we all seem to enjoy our cross-dressing. On the whole cross-dressing is for me a form of true self expression and I am delighted I am one.

A note on the accompanying picture. I do have aspirations to pass a real woman. This affects my choice of make-up, hair and clothing. Though I still enjoy the occasional cross-dresser indulgence of short dresses, big heels and lots of make-up, I also enjoy trying to create a real world daytime style such as a real woman may choose. In this session, my last cross-dressing opportunity back in October 2023, I was a bit ham fisted with my make-up (being out of practice) but wanted to appear as feminine but casual. I chose a woman floral patterned shirt, a denim skirt (of course I had to wear a skirt as I had just shaved my legs) a pair of wedge heel sandals, a casual brush out of my blonde wig, hoop ear rings, a hint of perfume, and I chose a more muted lipstick and applied softer eyeliner before finishing off with my usual two coats of mascara on my lashes. I felt quite the girl when I was done! I just love becoming a woman.

Tags:   crossdress crossdresser crossdressing transvestite transgender man as woman man in dress drag drag queen tranny transsexual transvestism female impersonator Female impersonation female portrayal female alter ego female illusion wig dressing up as a woman dressing up

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I do love and adore cross-dressing. I’m attracted to femininity and have a deep desire to appear in the guise of a woman. My dream is to become accomplished in this art form and hopefully, be perceived as being female. I do have a transsexual element within me but I also genuinely like my male life. My cross-dressing is an opportunity to free my own self expression and a rather lovely indulgence. I love women’s body shapes, feminine clothing, feminine hair styles, high heel shoes and I really adore wearing make-up. Becoming a cross-dresser gave me the outlet to fulfil all my emotional and adventurous desires.

I have only had two, rather brief, cross-dressing opportunities this year which were good fun. I did record some video during both sessions but I was more enthused than saying anything coherent. I am fired up with the delight of cross-dressing just now so having a bit of spare time today I edited a wee video together. It’s not a very good video and it was driven more by enthusiasm than anything worth watching. I’m posting not more as a self-celebration that I did actual dress as a woman for a few hours, an activity I truly love!

Tags:   crossdress crossdresser crossdressing transvestite tranny transgender transsexual female impersonator Female impersonation female illusion female alter ego female portrayal Male to female man in dress mature transvestite man as woman T-girl T-gurl transvestism trannie transsexualism

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