It is with regret that I am unable to bring you any reportage of H & Hs recent activity as we have to go over live to Devon & Cornwall Police headquarters where reports are coming in that a very dangerous and highly organised gang of fish have battered their way out of the Newlyn Fish market in the early hours of this morning.🐟🐟🐠🐠🐡🐡🐡
A spokesman for Devon and Cornwall police reported the fish had been spotted on the east bound crabiageway of the A30 and were last seen going through Dozmary Pool at speeds of over 178 mph. The gang are proving difficult to catch as they have covered themselves in cod liver oil and are slipping through police roadblocks.👮♀️🚓🚔👮♀️
An elite squad of Police frogman were called in to deploy a stingerray device near Talskiddy Treaclemine but the gang had filled their tyres with caviair.⛓⚙️⚙️
D & C police have said they believe the ring leader is ‘Freddie The Fish Finger’ a well known villain in the subterranean underworld. 🐳
Their getaway vehicle is thought to be a motorpike and sidecarp which was hot-wired by known fish villain ‘Harry The Hat Haddock’.🐋
Police have been warning members of the public to stay away from these slippery characters, as the gang are ruthless, however officers have said that they are a mixed bunch, some of them are not very clever as exam results indicated they were well below c level, yet on the other hand, it is also thought some could be well educated as they swam in schools.📕📘📒
Unconfirmed reports suggest that officers have received a ransom demand as it is feared that a group of squidnappers could be on board the sidecarp💰💰💰
The other area of concern for D & C officers are that this group of fish are well prepared for injuries as they have brought their own sturgeons and medicines, especially Vitamin Sea.👨⚕️💊💊💉
We will keep you up to date as we receive further updates, remember stay safe, and try and find a plaice with some sole in it.🏠🏠
I will leave you with this thought
How do you stop a fish smelling, block its nostrils.
Thank you all so much for viewing my photos, and the comments you leave. Have a lovely weekend😎🐎🐷🍻🍻🍻🍷🍷🍷🐎🐷😂😂😂
Loading contexts...
